Hard has been my response
for the last year
But I feel there's something better
that shows I still God fear
A whole year here, newness to the brim
Sickness, hardship, and more I wouldn't choose
Bearing witness to weakness within
it's felt like lose lose
But if I fear God
can this be true?
Lose lose doesn't align
with what's holy, good, and true
Looking back a year
I'm still not sure I'd choose
but oh how I'm finite
and my happiness not His muse
Often what makes me happy
are things that just distract
but a year in the desert
most things are but retract
Helpless, confused, angry
became too close of friends
My Savior in His love
reminds me again of Him
again again again
Hard does not encompass
the year that has passed here
Though easy and one word
Severe mercy is more clear
That God would move me far
from all I've ever known
To a place I had expectations
To more gladly call home
Home it has become
and home it will be
but oh how my heart yearns
for what soon will be
And this is surely good
His severe mercy
A year easily put "hard"
Leaving me longing for eternity
"Judge not the Lord by feeble sense
But trust Him for His grace
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face
And ye fearful saints, fresh courage take
The clouds you so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings, and in blessings,
in blessings on your head"